Ivory and Gold
by C0123
Summary: Edward is killed by Victoria at the end of Eclipse and Bella is gravely injured she is changed into a Vampire, resulting in guilt, regrets and bonding. R&R Bella/Carlisle
1. The End

**Ivory and gold**

**Chapter 1**

Bella waited her breath hitched somewhere inside her throat, the air was filled with an eerie silence, her eyes were focused intently on the small section of forest where Edward and Victoria had moved into, Bella herself the winner's prize, praying that any minute now he would emerge victorious and unharmed.

The wind whistled in the distance, the dissonant tones heightening the sensation of her anxiety, the aroma of smoke suddenly filled her nostrils, a slither of black slicing through the trees into the clouds above. Her voice trembled, a whimper escaped her throat. Then the victor emerged, eyes transfixed upon her own, reading her soul.

Her orange hair gently blew behind her, as she approached, her lip curving upwards into a satirical grin. "Mine." Victoria breathed onto Bella's cheek, watching Bella's face drain until they were almost the same colour.

"Edward!" Bella bellowed, a sob erupting from her throat.

"Is gone." Victoria caressed Bella's throat with her thumbs poising to attack; to finally end her life. Suddenly Victoria gripped onto Bella's shoulders and launched her across the clearing, Bella landed with a thud on the other side, barely conscious.

"If it's any consolation, it was your name on his lips as I crushed the final remnants of life out of him."

"Help." Bella croaked, the taste of copper plaguing her palette.

Victoria inhaled the air, her eyes flashing with the scent of Bella's blood; spilling out of her head, trickling down her chin.

"There is no one to help you now, the fight between Seth and Riley was a stalemate. They killed each other, it's just you and me." Victoria smiled coldly and approached.

Suddenly a piercing scream filled the air, arms locked around Victoria, squeezing, dragging her once again into the forest. Bella, opened her eyes tentatively, her eyes heavy, her muscles protesting. It must have been an angel, his golden hair blew gently against his face, his yellow eyes filled with concern and conflict, he was an angel, how could he not be. Her gaze was becoming less and less focused, the face of the angel becoming blurred.

"I'm sorry."

Cold lips found solace at her neck, then pain like no other roared through her body, her nerves erupted, her muscles froze, tension filled her body. He gripped her in his arms, holding her to his chest, keeping her thrashing limbs from harming either one of them with one cool arm.

He gathered her closer to him, brushing her hair out of her eyes, her body seemed to relax a little, but the convulsing remained. A figure appeared behind him, stood, stilted to the spot by the blood spilt around her body.


	2. Needles and Granite

**Chapter 2**

"Carlisle?" It was Alice, her voice laced with dry emotion, her face set in an expression of horror at the sight before her. Carlisle with a bloodied Bella laid out against his chest.

"I had to change her, it was too late. How bittersweet Alice, she wanted immortality to be with him, she has the prize but she has paid the ultimate price for it. "

"Oh Bella, What does this mean for us Carlisle?" She made to move towards her but the blood was too much, it may have been clotting as they spoke but her blood truly was intoxicating.

"I will speak with the Quileute pack, this was our only choice, she is all that matters now."

Carlisle looked down upon Bella's face which was contorted in agony beneath his.

"Is everyone else safe Alice?"

"Yes, Just Edward..." She pinched between her eyes, dragging her fingers down over her cheeks.

"They are all with the pack now, we should take her home Carlisle, get her cleaned up, try to make her more comfortable." Alice chimed, her voice a little higher in pitch than normal, strained by the loss of her brother.

Carlisle, hastily rose to his feet, with his precious cargo still set against him. A silent message was conveyed between himself and Alice and they gathered up a giant speed as they raced across land to their home.

Alice and Carlisle raced upstairs towards the guest bedroom, and placed upon the bed, a calmer Bella, still noticeably in immense pain, but looking less possessed than at the display at the clearing. He clutched his first aid bag, filling a syringe with an obscene amount of morphine; he placed the syringe to her skin; endeavouring to administer the dosage, the needle snapped against her granite skin; buckling under the immense pressure. Carlisle discarded the syringe, and kneaded his fingers into her skin searching for some human flesh, finally finding some on her thigh he quickly administered the drug, which thankfully managed to calm her even more.

Alice strode nearer to the bed, the scent becoming less and less prominent as the change swept through Bella's veins. She held in her hand a damp cloth and set about wiping at Bella's brow with it.

"Stay with her Alice, hold her hand. I'm going to find the others and speak to the tribe; we need to know where we stand." Alice nodded taking Bella's hand in hers and looking up to Carlisle.

"It was never your burden to bear Carlisle." She looked pointedly down to Bella, noting her transformation.

"How could I do this to her Alice? She might have to endure a thousand years without love. Without Edward." Carlisle moved towards the door.

"She has us."


	3. Treaties

**Chapter 3 **

"Carlisle!" Rosalie shrieked, alerting the rest of the Cullen's as well as the Quileute boys to his arrival.

"She's fine, Alice is watching over her." He walked over to his wife; she instantaneously fit her body to his embracing her with her arms around his waist. He put his cheek to her head, meeting the eyes of his adoptive children. Sam Uley stepped forward towards the Cullens, returning back to his human form in order to speak with them.

"We wish to offer our condolences for your loss. I'm sure you must all be devastated." Sam nodded his head to the Vampires acknowledging their fragile emotional state.

Jasper was the first to speak, walking away from Rosalie and Emmett.

"Thank you, from all of us, I assume that you are aware of all that has happened?"

"Your brother?" Sam grimaced.

"Bella?" Jasper enquired, looking towards the wolf that was Jacob Black. On hearing her name Jacob retired his wolf form.

"What about her? He said that she was with another of you being watched over." Jacob rasped, glaring at Carlisle.

"Carlisle was forced to change her, Bella was critically injured, she would no doubt have died." Jasper stated.

"What! You mean to say HE broke the treaty? He changed her, she is one of you? She would have been better off dead!" Jacob strode towards Carlisle towering over him, Carlisle didn't move, just remained there wrapped in Esme's arms.

"Sam they broke the treaty, you know what this means!" Jacob looked to his leader, pleading for vengeance on Carlisle for changing her.

Sam stroked his chin; he grasped Jacob pulling him from Carlisle's space, and turned to him.

"Think about this Jacob, she was going to die, look at him he didn't want to do it."

"It's a lie, how can you trust them Sam? He's just a filthy leech." Jacob leered down at Carlisle again; Emmett and Jasper grew nearer to Jacob.

"We will not go to war over this, it was always a possibility Jacob, she would be harmed by the woman bloodsucker and one of them would have to do something about it." Sam moved from Jacob back to the rest of the pack.

"Congratulations, you filthy bloodsucking leech, you got what you wanted, I hope he burns in hell. I hope you all do." He glared at Carlisle, his eyes becoming dark slits in his face.

"I loved her." Jacob whispered. Carlisle turned to him.

"I'm sorry."

Jacob grasped hold of Carlisle's throat, the pack rose towards him; the Cullen's forming a semicircle around Jacob and Carlisle. Carlisle didn't move, just gazed at him. Sensing that Carlisle was far past caring about himself at this point, he changed tactics and attempted to grasp at Esme, in less than a second Jacob was on the floor, Carlisle was bent over him, teeth bared.

Sam grasped Carlisle who left Jacob immediately. Sam looked down at Jacob.

"Are you insane, it end's now Jacob." Roughly yanking him up to the floor, Sam nodded to Carlisle and led his pack away from the Cullens.

Their silence broke, Esme and Rosalie burst into inconsolable tears. That was when it hit them. Edward was gone.


	4. Sisterly Love

Chapter 4

"Edward, where's Edward?" Bella's voice cracked, her hand gripping Alice's like an iron vice. Alice bowed her head; searching for the right way of breaking Bella's heart. She grimaced and moved her angelic face closer to Bella, her cool hand rested against her cheek touching her in a sisterly caress.

"I'm so sorry Bella. We were too late for Edward, he's gone." Alice wiped at a tear forming in the corner of Bella's eyes before lurching back in shock as Bella's body wracked with uncontrollable sobs, her voice growing hoarse from screaming his name in her grief.

"Why him Alice? Why didn't she just take me? It was me she wanted." Alice couldn't meet her eyes.

"She tried to but Edward tried to stop her, I saw her coming back through the forest, I saw the smoke, I saw that you were alone."

"What is happening to me Alice?" Bella cringed, half at the impending answer and half from Carlisle's venom still pulsing through her veins.

"Well as I saw the vision Emmett, Carlisle and I all ran to the clearing, she had thrown you, you were so badly injured, Emmett and I took her back into the forest and disposed of her. Carlisle stayed with you."

"No. Please no." Alice moved to sit next to Bella in the bed; she grasped her around the shoulders burying Bella's head into her neck.

"When I came back, Carlisle was almost in tears; he was muttering to you, I thought you were dead. Carlisle had to change you Bella, you were going to die."

"The angel, it was Carlisle, poor flawed angel." Alice turned to her confused, and cuddled closer to her.

"The irony of it. I only ever wanted to be with him." Bella sobbed harder, leaving patterns of salty tears on Alice's shirt.

"They're on their way back; they all want to see you." Alice sighed as she stroked Bella's hair out of her face.

"It's going to be alright Bella, I'm here for you, we're family now."

Sure enough the outside door opened and the rest of the Cullens poured into their home. Carlisle led the group, his clothes crisp with the dried remnants of Bella's blood. He stood transfixed on the staircase that he had carried Bella up only half an hour before, he watched the rest of his family as they climbed the stairs in silence towards the room where Bella and Alice were waiting.

"Carlisle, are you coming?" Esme touched her husband's frozen hand, entwining her fingers with his and gently brushing her thumb over his blood smeared knuckles.

"Later. I wish to change first. Standing over her with smeared with the last traces of her humanity would hardly be fitting."

"Of course, I'll see you later Carlisle."

Esme took the stairs, and found herself stood at the foot of Bella's bed as her children joined the chorus of sobs which erupted from the room.


	5. Flawed Angel

Chapter 5

He was the backbone of the coven, the binding force. He didn't feel like that as he pushed his coat off his back and hung it over his arm, noting the abundance of dried blood decorating the body of it. He stalked over to the washing machine folding his coat as he went and placed it inside, his shirt followed, he pulled it over his head and his poise slipped for a moment as he screwed it into a ball inside his fist before throwing it into the machine and slamming the door.

He strode up the stairs towards the bedroom he shared with his wife. As he passed the guest room he paused, hearing the unmistakable sound of sobs, his hand rested on the doorknob he picked at the brass beneath his nails; debating with himself whether or not to go inside. Instead he tore himself away and quickened his pace towards his own room.

When he walked inside everything was the same, the same ivory carpet, the same teak furnishings, everything was in the same place it was that morning. Yet everything else was different. He reached for his closet grasping for a plain white shirt and a new pair of trousers; the ones he was wearing were in a state of disarray that no washing machine could repair. He pulled on a pastel blue sweater over the top and discarded the old trousers carelessly.

Walking out of the room he headed for his study, his own place of solace. Upon entering he closed the door firmly behind himself and slid down the frame, he raised his hands to his hair tugging at his golden tresses, when at last a sob broke from his vocal cords.

"How could I let him die?" He remembered the time when he had changed him, their relationship was more than just pretence, he loved Edward; he was the first Vampire who had properly understood him, they truly were family. Bella was alone; he had sentenced her to an eternity of grief. Perhaps she would have rather died, what good was this life for her now? Edward had never wanted this in any case, and now there was no reason why she would want this for herself. Carlisle pulled himself up from in front of the door; he heard it open behind him as small hands circled his waist.


	6. Resolving Tensions

Chapter 6

Three days had passed and there was a sombre mood in the Cullen residence, Jasper had exhausted himself trying to keep up with the emotions of his family, however his presence in Bella's room was unparalleled, he helped to calm her throughout her transformation as Alice remained a permanent fixture at her bedside.

Bella's face had changed somewhat, her features had become more defined, her nose was straighter, her hair still fell into her natural wave but was enhanced by an almost unnatural sheen, her eyes were dark and almost maroon in colour, her freckles were gone and her skin had taken on a translucent look to it. She was enchanting.

"It's over now Bella." Jasper broke his silence and walked towards the two women.

Bella was sat up in bed, Jasper sat on the end of it next to her smiling when there was a quiet knock on the door.

"Come in." Alice chimed.

Carlisle's figure loomed in the doorway, he looked towards the bed he had dreaded having to do this, speak to her not knowing if she hated his choice. Alice and Jasper rose from their places and made towards the door each nodding at Carlisle as they passed.

He moved himself to the bed, never leaving her eyes as he danced towards her. She looked at him with intrigue, he looked different somehow; he looked soulless.

"Bella. How are you feeling?" His voice was still the same baritone caress that it always had been. Its timbre was richer than the finest piano.

"I'm ok Carlisle, why have you avoided speaking to me?" She turned as he sat down on the chair next to her bed.

"I didn't know what to say to you. You've lost him. I changed you." He swallowed hard.

"We both lost him, I loved him, but so did everybody else, there's no reason why we should let this tear us all apart Carlisle, he would want us to be happy."

"You don't sound like Bella." Carlisle allowed a small smile to play upon his lips.

"Well perhaps when you changed me I gained a little of your insight." She smiled back and placed her hand over Carlisle's.

"I never wanted it to be this way Bella, I'm so sorry." He gazed down at their joined hands and added his other over the top.

"I know, neither did I, I miss him Carlisle, I keep expecting him to walk through that door and wrap his arms around me. He never does." Carlisle leant over the bed and embraced her warmly.

"As do I. I loved him with every part of my being, he was my oldest friend, but nothing compares to the way you are feeling now." She held him back the two of them united in their grief and their mutual love for Edward.

"You're going to be ok Bella." Carlisle leant to the scar he had left just three nights ago and placed his lips in a light, affectionate kiss onto it. Straightening up he looked back at her, smiling gently at her she reciprocated instantly and watched Esme walk through the door. Carlisle put his arms around his wife.

"They need me. " She smiled a relieved smile. She had never experienced her husband how he had been since the fight and had wondered if he would ever be the same man, in her relief she kissed him gently on the nose before turning her attentions behind her to Alice who had brought a selection of the high street's finest for Bella to try.


	7. Part of the family

**Chapter 7 **

"Stop worrying Bella! We're going to teach you, the sooner you do this then the sooner we can make things a bit clearer to Charlie."

Emmett clapped a large hand onto her shoulder, a little harder than totally necessary.

The Cullen's had decided that since Bella was fully transformed, it was the best idea to ensure she was fed, being new born and hungry was something that none of them were prepared to put up with.

They must have travelled a great number of miles but with Bella's less human-like pace it seemed as if they had only been travelling for a few minutes at most. Emmett and Jasper demonstrated to her first, gripping a small deer each and dropping down into the position that used to mean something far different when she was human; they ripped the deer open deftly, without any effort needed. Bella's eyes hung out on stalks. When her sensitive nostrils first inhaled the heavenly scent of the animal's freshly spilt blood instinct fought to take over her body as she headed towards the men. Carlisle gripped her upper arm, knowing exactly what would happen if she dared to interrupt either of them whilst they were feeding.

"Just wait Bella." He smiled softly at her allowing his hand to slip to her wrist of his own accord. He still kept his iron grip on her lest she should attempt another break for freedom.

Emmett jumped up from his deer, grinning and sated.

"So Bells, you think you can do it?"

"Just you watch me." Bella grinned, winking at him.

Her new found agility sprung her around the forest. She jumped swiftly over to a passing pheasant and sunk her fangs deep into its feathers, drinking its blood greedily. Instantly she felt a release of tension, and sprung for another one, massacring a fair few of the unfortunate birds.

"Fabulous Bella!" Carlisle grinned before turning to his own meal Bella turned her eyes towards him; astounded by his eating habits; he drank as if he was devouring the finest delicacy, a master over his self control. He suckled gently from the animal caressing its downy fur as he tasted its blood, almost as if he didn't want to be drinking from it, although the satisfied look upon his face as he finished spoke volumes.

"You've done really well Bells." Jasper congratulated her flinging his arm around her.

"See, I can do this now I don't want to kill you." He grinned cheekily and she pushed him playfully, Edward's absence still left a gaping hole in the family. They all tried to include her, to try and ensure she didn't have too much time to herself in order to dwell, they were good for her. She was finally part of the family she had longed to be in there was just a part of her missing.


	8. The Phone Call

Chapter 8

Things had been going swimmingly at the Cullen's house all things considered. Bella was soon denying her thirst; influenced heavily by the watchful gaze of Carlisle and Alice in particular. They had been out hunting several times since the first, not all of them had to feed as often as Bella but they were happy to accompany her, particularly Jasper and Alice who had attempted to deepen their bond with her. Carlisle had been hunting more too, only to please Bella mainly who was enraptured by the manner in which he hunted, the laid back nature of his hunting and his gentleness, making her genuinely want to be a part of what he had created to not be a monster. For Edward's sake.

The Cullen's had been less intrusive as time went by, realising that as much as it may have seemed like at the beginning Bella was not going to become totally depressed and fractured by Edward's death, she was still distraught but knew that he would have wanted her to be happy whether he was there or not. He had left her before for her own happiness.

Bella jumped at the vibration on her sideboard, she glanced at the vanilla coloured board and spied her cell phone making a break for freedom. Glancing down at the caller ID she gasped inwardly.

"Jacob." She flicked her thumb across the screen inwardly debating whether or not to answer, finally she hit the accept button and brought the receiver to her ear.

"Hello," she made her voice sound strong, ensuring that nothing gave away her true feelings.

"Bella." Jacob paused.

"What is it Jacob? I don't hear from you for months and now you finally decide to get in touch?"

Bella's voice strained slightly attempting to gain a little more authority over the situation.

"I wanted to see you Bella. I know what you have become, I know it is never going to be the same again but I just needed to at least say goodbye if that is how it's going to be."

"I... I don't know Jake... It's just..."

"Don't deny me a goodbye Bella, surely I mean more to you than that."

"You do. Of course you do. It's just; they will never allow me to come to see you."

"I will come to you, your friend she can't see me remember, then we will cross the boundary line into La Push to talk."

"No Jake. Somewhere neutral, like I said La Push is not a good idea."

"Alright, where we used to train, I will take you there."

"Okay Jake."

"1 hour Bella."

The line went dead.


	9. Tension

Chapter 9

If she had been human her palms would have been sweating, she waited with bated breath outside the gate to the Cullen's residence. Getting past Alice wasn't easy however she was perfectly accepting of the claustrophobia excuse that Bella had given.

Butterflies were doing somersaults in her stomach, she toyed with her phone as she waited; breath hitched in her throat, thinking to herself how things would change after today. Jacob's car appeared from nowhere around the corner and skid to an abrupt halt. She hesitated for a second, then proceeded to walk; human pace so as not to totally alienate him within the first 30 seconds; towards his car.

"I wasn't about to drive any closer Bella." Jacob stared hard into her ochre coloured eyes and flinched as she opened the car door.

Both of them were separated by an invisible barrier, gluing them to their respective sides of the car.

"You smell almost as bad as he did." Jacob's attempt at breaking the tension didn't go quite as smoothly as he had anticipated; she glared at him breaking through the steely expression on his face.

"Are you for real? What am I doing here Jacob did you just arrange to meet me so that you could make sly comments about Edward? If so have your fill Jake, I might not break my hand this time."

Jacob shrugged and turned his attention back to the road, his throat gagging as he remained seated next to her. After possibly the longest and most awkward drive in Forks' history they arrived at the treaty line. Jacob crossed the line backing into La Push, Bella stayed firmly within Cullen territory.

"Why have you brought me here Jake?"

"To show you what those filthy bloodsuckers have accomplished."

"I'll have you know those _filthy bloodsuckers_ are in fact my family, tell me Jacob what have my family done?"

"They have separated us; I could hardly stand to be next to you Bella."

"Thanks, you haven't lost your charm."

"Don't be facetious, you felt it too."

"It's not the same as it used to be Jake; I admit that, I just can't see why we can't at least try to be friends."

"No. I know what needs to be done; I am here to do it. As much as it pains me Bella, you shouldn't be here; it's unnatural." He took a step forward.

"And what you are _is_ natural?" Bella stood back horrified and took in Jacobs's large muscular frame.

"I was destined to be like this. You on the other hand were not; I would rather you dead than this." His eyes squinted; his jaw locking.

"I loved you Bella."

"You deceived me." Bella nodded to him as he changed before her eyes. She wouldn't run, he would outrun her easily. She would fight.

Jacob propelled his body onto her, his claws ripping at her marble torso, his fur no longer held that feeling of security, he was a predator and she was his prey.

Bella bared her teeth at his taking a chunk out of the side of his face as Jacob lanced her with his claws, his teeth nearing her throat. Bella ripped furiously at his fur, biting with a ferocity that she never dreamed she possessed. His blood oozed from deep wounds on his torso, saturating the grass beneath them. Suddenly he jumped upon her again sending her hurtling towards a tree, the tree uprooted due to sheer force and like lightning he was upon her again. She was hunched on the ground, willing her body to miraculously heal itself just a little faster when she saw them approaching.


	10. Heal Me

Chapter 10

She couldn't help but break into a grin; Jacob gazed at her in wonder before turning around to see what had amused her so greatly. He really shouldn't have bothered.

Looming behind him were each one of the Cullen's, Emmett breathed upon Jacob's ripped ear as Jasper circled him in a predatory pas de deux that would rival any ballet dancer.

"Leave now and we won't kill you." Carlisle broke the tense silence filling the atmosphere. Emmett flinched frowning at Carlisle. Jacob backed down defeated, and shied away from Bella.

"You spoil all the fun Carlisle." Emmett sighed, withdrawing away from Jacob.

He skulked away eying each of the Cullens, until he was far enough into Quileute land to feel secure.

Carlisle scooped Bella into his arms with ease, she had a few minor injuries; nothing that would cause any lasting damage.

"Why has he done this Carlisle? I don't understand." She clawed at his shirt collar as he held her to his chest burying her face into the crook of his cool neck. The parallels of the only other night he had held her like this were rife in his head as they all began to run towards their home.

As they entered the house he made his way up that same staircase; the same room. He placed her gently on her bed.

"I know there isn't much I can do Bella, your body is equipped to heal itself but please just get some rest, the boys have gone to get you some chickens, once you feed the process should speed up profusely." Carlisle was perched on the edge of the bed next to her, staring down into her eyes.

She smiled warmly up at him and gripped his hand with a gentle but reassured touch.

"How on earth did you find me? Alice can't see Jacob and her visions of me disappear whenever I'm with him." Bella's eyes searched his own.

"You know sensitive hearing is quite an extraordinary gift at times. The phone call; we were happy to allow you to see him Bella but he is too dangerous for you to be alone with. We kept a safe distance and then we heard him, we knew we had to get to you."

"I don't know how I can ever thank you all enough." Entwining his fingers with hers he simply said.

"By never worrying me like that again."

Jasper and Emmett barged into the room with a chicken each under their arms. In alarm Carlisle tore his hand from her and ran it through his hair. She gawped at her hand and back at him in shock from his reaction.

"Dinner is served Bells." Emmett's voice sounded out from across the room.

"I'll go outside and eat them Carlisle, I wouldn't want to get feathers everywhere." She motioned to leave the bed. Regaining his composure once more Carlisle shook his head and placed two fingers on her collarbone pushing her back into the bed.

"Nonsense dear, I will clear up any mess." Carlisle stalked to the other side of the room and leant against the doorframe, his eyes softened as he looked upon her taking the chicken off Emmett.

"I doubt there will be any mess considering the size of her mouth!" She playfully took a swipe at Emmett before devouring each of the chickens in turn.


	11. Carlisle's Epiphany

**Chapter 11**

The rest of the day had passed without any more drama, Bella had stayed in her room recuperating and healing, the Cullen's had took it in turns to go on "Bella Watch," the job description being not letting her out of the door for the time being lest she gets murdered.

"How are you feeling?" Alice lay next to her on the bed, playing on a portable games console.

"Much better, I feel fine; I don't see why Carlisle won't let me downstairs yet."

"Well you can ask him yourself in a minute, he's on his way; he has news for you."

Sure enough Carlisle's gentle knock was heard on Bella's bedroom door.

"Come in Carlisle."

He stepped through the threshold and eyed Alice nervously. She instantly sprung from the bed and passed him in one fluid motion.

"I need to speak to you about Charlie." He sat down next to her, and fumbled with the cufflink on his shirt sleeve.

"Why, has something happened?" Bella sat bolt upright in her bed.

"No. He's fine, relax Bella." Carlisle smiled sympathetically.

"We need to phone him, tell him you are with us, I'm going to tell him Edward has gone missing, that you have decided you want to stay and find him."

On hearing Edward's name Bella wanted to hurl, she had tried to block it out for so long; what she would have to tell Charlie, she could hardly tell him that Edward was murdered by a vengeful Vampire and Carlisle promptly had to change her into one in order to save her life.

"It seems like the simplest way. I know that we can only go so long putting it off; I've been in Jacksonville all summer as far as he is concerned." Bella nodded, turning to Carlisle.

"You want me to phone him now don't you?" Bella looked at him with a pained expression.

"The sooner the better, I'll be here with you, your father will begin to worry. Besides you would have to come back to Forks soon even if you were with your mother."

"I can't tell him about Edward, I know what he will say, he will accuse him of abandoning me again. I'll give the game away Carlisle."

"I'll tell him that, and then you can..."Carlisle grasped her hand gently "say your goodbyes."

Bella nodded her acquiescence and Carlisle proceeded to lift the telephone to his ear his other hand now firmly entwined with hers. They eyed one another intently as he began to ring.

"Hello."

"Hello, Charlie its Carlisle."

"Carlisle. Where is my daughter?"

"Bella is safe, she's with me. Edward has gone missing, she's distraught and she wishes to stay with us until he returns home."

"I have the utmost respect for you Dr Cullen but your boy; he is bad for Bella, he's done this before Carlisle, I don't trust him and I want Bella back here this instant."

Carlisle hissed so softly that Charlie would never have heard it, he looked down at her quilt and took his hand from hers; rubbing his chin with his thumb and forefinger.

"Give me the phone Carlisle; he won't budge unless I speak." Bella prised the phone out of Carlisle's hand, and he returned the other to its rightful place; entwined with hers.

"Dad. I'm staying here, the Cullen's are looking out for me; more than you can ever imagine." She smirked up at Carlisle and began to draw patterns upon his frozen skin; he gulped and averted his attention to their hands, his breath hitching at the sensuous feel of her fingers on his skin. The rest of the phone call was a blur to him, he only saw her.


	12. Angst

Chapter 12

Charlie had finally given in after a stern reminder from Bella of her age and reassurance about her safety. The next few days had gone by slowly; Carlisle was busying himself with the work he had got behind on; keeping out of Bella's way. He still remembered the touch of her fingers, and tried his utmost to clear his mind of Bella in general. He loved his wife, Bella and himself just had common ground, she shared his love for Edward, both of them had been devastated by his death. It was only natural that he would develop protective feelings over her.

Bella lay across the loveseat in the Cullen's front room; her legs draped over Alice. Jasper sat on the floor below them; chuckling to himself at just how easily Bella seemed to have adapted to family life.

"What are you laughing at?" Alice gaped down at him batting his hair off his face.

"You! Well and Bella." He glanced up at Bella who appeared to be too busy glaring at the screen of her cell phone.

Alice jumped off the loveseat and into Jasper's embrace, Bella seized the opportunity of them appearing to be distracted and bolted for the kitchen.

"What."

"I needed to apologise."

"Drop dead."

"I need to see you."

"In your dreams."

Bella saw an open palm slide across the table top. The hand belonged to Carlisle.

"Give me the phone."

"Carlisle. No its fine."

Carlisle wrestled the phone from her grip with some difficulty. He raised the phone to his ear and listened to the pleading tones of Jacob Black. Bella glared at him, and batted his hand away when he went to caress her shoulder in apology.

"Now Jacob, I suggest you leave Bella alone, this is harassment. I protect my family."

Jacob chuckled on the other end of the phone.

"Ah, Carlisle. Yes that was a very fatherly embrace you had Bella in that day too."

"Keep your vile thoughts to yourself; dog."

"You feel it too. Don't you Carlisle, she's captivating."

"You disgust me." Carlisle ended the call and Bella ripped the phone from his hand.

She must have heard what Jacob had said, how couldn't she have. He looked at her for a sign. She looked like she was about to kill something. His heart sank.

"How dare you take my property from me? You are not my father."

He exhaled in relief; he could deal with teenage angst.

"I'm going out, don't you dare follow me. I'm not going to La Push so no need to freak."

He followed her around the kitchen as she picked up her belongings, muttering to herself about men and their fatal flaws. He was rather amused actually, until she almost took the end of his face off with the front door anyway.


	13. Crimson

Chapter 13

She just needed to be away from them all. She needed some privacy.

Bella walked in no particular direction through the forest, she wasn't particularly fussy about where she ended up, she just hoped that by time she returned she no longer wanted to chop Carlisle into bite size chunks.

The leaves crunched under her dainty feet, she hadn't felt this free in a long time. She sat herself upon a small rock that protruded from underneath a large oak tree. She opened her bag and took out her purse; she glanced inside and was met by the familiar stare of Edward Cullen, she smiled back at the picture, her former human self and him, happy and completely in love. How things had changed.

She placed her purse away and was met by a shrill scream, her ears which were extremely sensitive to the sound caused her to follow it, she followed an abruptly ending path which halted in the most surreal of places, she was inside a circle of trees; a tiny brook gurgled in the distance; the most heavenly scent filled her nostrils; he was clutching his ankle on the floor, a trickle of blood oozed from his sock, the same heady feeling she gets whilst feeding stumped her. He called out to her, mesmerised by her unparalleled beauty. He smiled gently and then glanced pointedly down at his ankle.

"Think you could give me a hand?"

"Of course." She stalked closer to her prey, graceful and poised; it became too much she jumped onto him and ripped into his throat; the shock didn't even have time to register on his features, she didn't relent ripping, biting, scratching. She pressed her mouth to the wounds and suckled furiously upon them, she felt the blood filter into her body, reinforce each muscle. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced; complete and utter satisfaction.

Strong arms grabbed at her, she fumed and clawed at the villain behind her; who dared to interrupt? She abruptly pinned the perpetrator to the floor, her hands holding theirs above their head. Her face loomed onto theirs, her eyes taking on a scarlet colour; she was so strong. They grappled with her finally getting the better of her with skill that she merely didn't possess and reversed their positions, they had moved a substantial way from the body; dragging her without her realising it. As she began to calm her senses crept back, her bloodlust was not at the forefront of her mind. She didn't see a rival predator; there lying above her she saw Carlisle.


	14. The Point Of No Return

Chapter 14

"I'm so sorry." Bella pleaded, looking up at Carlisle.

"No. I'm sorry, this is my fault, I'm the reason you did this." He leant his head to the scar and traced a finger over it, a featherlike touch over her cool skin.

He took his hand away; she looked as if she was hypnotised. He clamped his eyes shut and sighed to himself.

"I'm sorry Bella." He allowed his head to travel downwards towards her face, she still didn't move; he kept moving his head downwards until they were nose to nose, somehow he managed to force his eyes open again, deftly he captured her top lip in between his own and abruptly let go. Her breath hitched and she stared at him watching for his next move. He motioned to get up and Bella grasped his forearm; he was going nowhere.

"You've past the point of no return." Bella croaked to him, dazed.

All of a sudden his lips were grazing hers, and he began to kiss her; slowly and gently; but with a lack of restraint that frightened him to the core. He smothered her lips with desperate wet kisses. Devouring her with every touch of his lips. He let go of her hands and placed them on each side of her neck; she manoeuvred hers into his golden tresses, allowing his hair to filter through her fingers like water. He gently lifted his face from hers as she followed the contours of his features with her careful fingers; he captured them with his own and brought them to his mouth for a gentle kiss. Lifting his body off hers he pulled her to him and cradled her in his arms against the nearest tree, he allowed himself to place soft kisses against her hair as he guided his fingers through it. Bella lifted her own arms and placed them around his waist; relishing the cold, stone body beneath her fingertips.

They sat there like that for an innumerable amount of minutes; he closed his eyes and imagined what it could be like if only things were simple. They were grieving.

"Bella, we should go." He finally managed to remove himself from his stupor and squeezed one of her hands gently.

"I don't want to." She glanced up at him and captured his lips again; he couldn't resist her.


	15. The Signs of Grief

Chapter 15

"I've disappointed you haven't I?" Carlisle snapped his face towards hers confusion etched upon it.

"I don't understand." She raised her face and found herself once again nose to nose with him.

"The human." He swallowed watching her lips forming the words.

"It's in our nature Bella; you were upset." He went to stand but she dragged him down towards her and took his lips with her own, he eased into her, reciprocating in kind. All too soon she stopped and pulled his hand into her lap caressing his fingers with her own.

"I just needed to know I hadn't imagined it." She smiled warmly at him; he broke into a short chuckle.

"Oh, it was real alright. It was the most real thing I've felt in a long time." Carlisle looked sternly at her, looking for her reaction.

"I haven't felt anything like that since..." She pretended to be interested in her shirt and fixed her eyes on it so she didn't have to look at him.

"I've been numb for so long Carlisle." He tilted her chin to him and searched her eyes.

"Help me Bella. I don't know what I feel. All I know is that I ache for you with every part of my being." He bent his face to her neck and caressed her scar with his lips; he traced the mark with his teeth before moving his mouth around to the column of her throat and placing a kiss there. She stroked the back of his cold cheek with the back of her hand as he sat upright.

"The night I gave you that scar changed everything. It's the reason we are here now." He looked down pointedly at their joined hands.

"I only ever wanted to keep you safe, I'm falling for you." He would have blushed.

"You are the one person who understands. I loved him too: A part of me died with him, I know you feel the same." Bella couldn't take her eyes off him; his face contorted in anguish he was still beautiful.

"I do." Bella snuggled herself closer to him.

"Carlisle", she bolted from her position in his arms

"Will Alice know?"

He looked to her his face wide with horror.

"I couldn't say for sure, but I would assume so, she saw you attack the human. Come here Bella, I want to enjoy our time together while we can; we will deal with Alice when we get home."

She crawled back to him on her knees and sank into his kiss.


	16. Guilt Creeps In

Chapter 16

"We should leave, someone is going to find the body soon and we don't want to be in the vicinity when they do." Carlisle offered his hand to Bella which she took willingly and pulled her to her feet, he kept her hand cradled in his as they composed themselves and began to walk home.

"What about the treaty Carlisle?" Carlisle whipped his head around to meet hers, shocked by her sudden outburst, her realisation etched upon his face.

"I don't know. Perhaps they won't know, perhaps they will. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. Right now we have the problem of my wife and clairvoyant of a foster daughter to contend with."

Carlisle gripped her hand tighter before releasing it and put his arm around her shoulder and settled into her. She reciprocated by folding her arms around his waist, and resting her weight onto him.

"I'd almost forgotten about Esme. What have we done Carlisle?" He bowed his head, and looked at the tiny leaves scattering at their feet.

"She's not your responsibility to remember, we had an unbelievable moment back there Bella. It was the first time I've felt like an actual person since Edward died."

She nodded in acquiescence, and they found themselves nearer to their home than they had anticipated, seeing it in the distance they instantly dropped their arms from around each other in a mutual understanding.

Sighing loudly Carlisle took one last look at Bella before pushing the front door of his home open. She walked in slightly behind him; noticing Jasper's confusion at the emotions which had just saturated atmosphere of the room. Carlisle looked at him, seeing a lack of enlightenment on the situation and looked to Bella to reassure her. Alice; if she knew had not told Jasper. Perhaps she had seen something but had discarded it as being a decision which neither of them would have taken, his hopes had begun to rise, as did his disgust for himself, he was trying to find any way of not having to tell his wife of decades that he had been unfaithful to her with his dead foster son's fiancée.

Framed on the staircase hovered Alice, her face wore an expression which wasn't easily deciphered. Both Carlisle and Bella looked up towards her.

"Alice?" Bella croaked.

"Come upstairs. Now." She looked sternly into their eyes. Obviously the confusion set in Jasper's future in her visions had confirmed her vision of the two of them. There was no getting out of this one.

Walking behind them into Carlisle's study she slammed the door behind them all and watched them for a reaction, neither of them moved, Bella's hand hovered near to Carlisle's the space begging to be closed. Alice spied their hands and placed a hand over her eyes.

"I thought perhaps it was wrong. After all my visions aren't always right." She shook her head in disbelief.

"Alice. Please, let me explain."

"Shut up Carlisle." His face contorted in surprise at her outburst.

"You kissed her! You had better decide where your loyalties lie, because Esme is no fool and we wouldn't expect her to be." Alice's eyes had darkened passionately. Bella sank quietly into the background.

"Have you seen any outcomes?" Carlisle hesitantly asked her.

"Several. None of them are pretty. You've ruined everything." She glared at them, looking like as if at any moment she would pounce on the two of them.

"The pack will find out and we will have to leave, sooner or later." She added looking towards Bella.

"Perhaps the two of you should think about exactly what it is you are going to do. You have 2 days, and then we are all leaving." Alice backed out of the room, her anger never dissipating.

Carlisle turned to Bella, who was suffering from a severe case of shell-shock and cradled her in his arms.


	17. Decisions

Chapter 17 

Carlisle looked upon the girl in his arms, taking in her scent; he remembered the first time he had seen her. She had just been another human; if anything she could have been a huge problem for his family. He would never have anticipated that he would be holding her to his chest, her heart as dead as his as they decided on how they were going to live the rest of their lives.

"We can't do this Carlisle." Bella shook her head grinding it into his solid chest.

Taken aback Carlisle pushed her from him, holding her at arm's length. She looked sadly into his warm yellow eyes, her own still marred with the crimson glare that burned within them.

"If only things were different." He looked at her with an expression of complete melancholy.

"I'll leave. Tomorrow, you can get on with your lives."

A flash of horror overtook his face.

"No you won't. I won't allow it. You are as much a part of this family as I am." She gripped the hand that hung loosely at his side and ran her fingertips over his palm.

"I've spoilt everything. The treaty." She would have cried. Carlisle buried her head into the crook of his neck.

"I'm going to talk to Sam, Jacob tried to kill you; he pushed you to this, surely Sam will be able to see that." He stroked her hair with the long fingers of his free hand.

"We can try to go back to normal. For everybody's sake." Carlisle nodded as she spoke.

"This is grief, isn't it Carlisle?" He cleared his throat uncertainly.

"Yes." He pressed his mouth to her hair. Not believing his own words.

Alice walked into the room, knowing that the conversation had found its natural end.

"You know, if you are going to end this and go back to normal, _that_ might just confuse matters." Alice waved her hand to the embrace in front of her. Reluctantly their arms reclined.

"Go to the pack Carlisle. I'm coming with you, its better we find them before they find us." Alice beckoned to Carlisle; he stepped towards Alice; turning his eyes for one last look at Bella before leaving her alone.


	18. On the Brink

Chapter 18

The wolves were already convened on the treaty line; Sam and Jacob were the only ones in their human forms. Carlisle and Alice stalked closer to the border, watching the wolves carefully for any sign of movement.

"We should rip you apart now!" Jacob glared towards the two Vampires and motioned to cross the barrier. Sam stopped him abruptly, clamping his hand down onto Jacob's chest.

"They shall speak." Sam nodded to Carlisle; still keeping his human barrier between him and Jacob.

"I understand this is about Bella?" Carlisle addressed his question to Sam, ignoring Jacob who was stilted at his side.

"Of course it's about her you disgusting leech!" Jacob spat onto the grass beneath him and ground his teeth at Carlisle.

"Please don't. _Your _teeth probably can't endure it."

Alice flashed a toothy grin at Jacob, revealing her fangs to his gaze. Carlisle looked at her disapprovingly and was met by a satirical glare in reciprocation.

"She broke the treaty Carlisle."

"Are you aware of the state that I found her in after a meeting with _him?_ Carlisle motioned towards Jacob.

Sam nodded gravely.

"I am aware Carlisle, but it is no excuse." Sam looked to Alice who was intently trying to envisage his decision.

"You realise that he has been harassing her? The day she bit the human she was only out of our home alone because he had been phoning her, she was trying to get away from him."

Jacob's eyes flashed, and he pulled Sam's arm off him and made towards Carlisle, in a flash Alice was between them, her cool body defending Carlisle.

"I wonder if she would be so quick to act if she knew." Jacob flashed a dirty grin at Carlisle. Carlisle smirked back knowing he had the upper hand.

"Somehow I think she would." Carlisle placed a hand onto Alice's shoulder, and pulled her behind him away from Jacob. Jacob shrugged and focused his gaze onto Alice.

"Your _father. _Has been having less than fatherly thoughts about a certain bloodsucker."

"I see the future." Alice giggled at Jacob.

"That's enough Jacob." Sam had been watching from Jacob's side, he turned to Carlisle and nodded once.

"You will control her. She is not to be alone around the humans; if she is we will kill you all. This is your very last chance."

Jacob moaned audibly and turned to Sam.

"You have let them get away with it again! What are you thinking? They have broken the treaty Sam, kill them." Jacob screamed at his leader and was met by a deafening growl from the wolves behind him.

"Calm down Jacob." Sam returned back to his wolf form and sank back in to the pack leaving a disbelieving Jacob still gaping at Carlisle.


	19. Relief

Chapter 19

Carlisle and Alice begun the run back to the Cullen's house, she looked at him with a sympathetic eye. His head turned to face her.

"What is it Alice?" She shook her head intently; he wasn't going to have to see this before he was ready.

"Nothing, I just need to know what is going to happen between you and Bella." It was a good diversion tactic; and a question that she had been meaning to put to him anyway.

"Surely you would know better than I would." Carlisle managed a small smile for Alice and she nodded.

"I suppose." She paused for a second and then eyed his face; it was contorted in concentration, he was obviously trying very hard to concentrate on anything other than the one thing, one person he most wanted to think about.

"Do you love her?" His eyes flashed and he took her in. His mouth moved but no sound escaped his cool stone lips. Shaking his head he smiled.

"I don't know Alice. I don't know anything anymore." She allowed her eyes to flit over his body. He hardly looked like the same person. He was broken, Bella had fixed him. But now he had lost more than Edward.

"I'm sorry Carlisle." He shook his head violently.

"Don't pity me Alice. I made my own decisions." Realising that they were getting closer to the house, and possibly into earshot of the rest of the family the conversation died, both of them enveloped in their own thoughts; aided by the silence that crept between them.

Arriving at the door both of them were greeted by the rest of the family. Carlisle was pulled into an embrace by Esme, he placed a hand on the top of her head; feeling the chestnut brown tresses beneath it when over her shoulder he locked gazes with Bella. He wanted to vomit.

Alice turned around just at that precise moment and noted the strained look between the two of them, she almost ran from Jasper's side and embraced Bella; Carlisle shook Esme from him and continued to embrace the rest of the family before coming to Bella. He gripped her around the waist; knowing all too well that Alice would be trying her utmost not to have to see this as she flung her arms around his neck. She buried her face into it and sighed so that only he would hear. He pulled her from him and stalked away to address the family as a whole. Bella winced at the loss of his body; how was she going to manage this?

"We have another chance. Sam was merciful to say the least; the only terms are that Bella is not to be left alone in the vicinity of humans." Carlisle smiled at his family who were quite obviously overjoyed at the decision.

"Thank god Carlisle. We were sick with worry for you both." Jasper clutched Alice to him stroking her face gently with a hand.

"We could have done with you there for Jacob." She giggled at him; Jasper raised his eyebrows knowing that the rest would be explained away from Bella.


	20. Bella

Chapter 20 

The following months had been a strain; Alice had found the need to tell Jasper all that she knew. Jasper's gift had allowed him insight into the emotions of the two of them however his initial shock at his sister and father for all intents and purposes having an affair shown that he couldn't have been completely aware of the feelings between the two of them. Jasper was now all too aware of the emotions which filled the house.

Bella and Carlisle had tried to keep away from each other since their decision; much to their own dismay. It seemed to be working, Carlisle was sure to keep his distance from Esme when he was near Bella, he couldn't think of anything worse than inflicting scenes of the charade of his happiness on Bella when she couldn't do the same.

Time had passed quickly; when you have eternity before you years seem to fade into days. It had been a year since Bella's change; Edward's death. His absence left a gaping hole in the family where he used to be.

Bella left her room and walked into the long corridor that connected the two sides of the house together; her room had become her sanctuary; a safe place. Alice spent quite some time in there with her mainly to keep her entertained and give her some company, although Bella couldn't help but feel that part the reason was to ensure that Carlisle didn't feel the need to "entertain" her. She was aware that Jasper must have known; she couldn't expect Alice to be able to keep something that huge from him; especially given how it must have been playing with her emotions at the time.

Her feet moved at an almost human pace, there was no need for her to rush, after all she was wondering without any particular aim. She viewed the vast array of rooms which cluttered the sides of the corridor, walking past Alice and Jasper's room and then Rosalie and Emmett's. She slowed down outside Carlisle's study knowing beyond reasonable doubt that he would probably be in there. These days he hardly ever left. She ran a finger down the mahogany stain of the door; hesitating for a moment before walking further down the corridor. It had been a year since he had changed her; how things had changed.

Her feet had managed to transport her to his room. She pushed open the door with ease, it would have been a struggle for a human but with her new strength she hardly felt any resistance from it. Nobody had been in the room since he had gone; the hinges creaked in protest to her opening the door. All of his possessions lay in the exact same place he had left them; the CDs were still lined up in an OCD style order and his sofa was in the same state of disarray it had been when they had last lay upon it together. She inhaled the atmosphere; expecting her nostrils to be invaded by the same scent that she had craved whilst she was still human; instead the scent was different, this time she was different.

She missed him terribly; he was her first and only love. Most people are lucky to ever experience the magnetism that she and Edward had taken for granted; Edward had never denied her love, even when it would have torn him apart. Whether he would have looked approvingly upon her and Carlisle was a different matter; however, she believed with every part of her being that he would have understood what had happened between them; both of them being totally immersed in grief and finding solace in the arms of the other.

She took a seat on Edward's sofa revelling in the feel of the soft blankets that he had strewed upon it; reminders of her previous existence; ironically everything then seemed to be so much simpler. She allowed the blanket to run through her fingers like water before clutching it in her fist and pulling it over her.


	21. Carlisle

Chapter 21

Carlisle Cullen stared blankly at the screen of his laptop computer. He had been there for almost two hours in the exact same position. He blinked at the screen as the battery waned and the screen turned black. He swallowed and sighed thoughtfully; he pushed the top of the computer down and pulled his chair around so that he had his back to his desk.

He had heard her move; heard her at his door. He knew that she would know he had, in fact he entertained the idea that it could well have been for his benefit. He had found himself doing similar fruitless things in order to gain her attention; resulting in him feeling as if he was cheating more than just himself in the process. However, today was different she wasn't going to have taken this easily. Although if he had said that he was, he would have been a filthy liar. He eased himself out of his chair in a split second decision; realising that this at least would hopefully mean that Alice might just miss it and not feel compelled to scale the house to ensure that they were not in the middle of a passionate tryst.

He closed his door behind him; not bothering to be quiet about it, if the rest of the family were listening then they would surely hear even if he didn't want them to. Looking out onto the corridor he noted that the last room was ajar. Edward's room. He flinched, none of them had been in there, and he didn't particularly want to disturb her if she was having a personal moment in his space. He turned around and motioned to go back to his study when a small voice, detectable to only him rang out.

"It's okay Carlisle."

She was obviously in some state of distress, her voice was cracked and she sounded as if she had been crying.

He stopped dead in the middle of the corridor listening to her voice. As if in a dream his legs carried him towards the room.

He peered inside reluctantly, all too aware of the state that he may find her in, she was still wrapped up in the blanket; her legs hung over the sofa. She looked like an angelic child. He immediately softened and closed the rest of the distance between them; pulling her onto his lap. She pulled her arms around him as if in reflex and brought her head to her chest. He allowed a hand to drift over her face and relax into her hair; he crushed her to him as she sobbed into his chest.


	22. Comfort Me

Chapter 22

She twisted her fingers into the soft material of his shirt, raking her hard nails over the contours of his stone chest. He remained still allowing her to claw at him; only moving to allow his hand to travel over her hair in an attempt to sooth her.

"A year, just a year." Her voice was muffled by her mouth being on his shirt. He placed an arm around her shoulders and lifted her face to meet his eyes.

"Even when time is on your side it doesn't lessen the pain, I've existed for over 300 years Bella and forgotten nothing. This isn't going to be easy." Carlisle replied

"Doesn't lessen the guilt either does it Carlisle?" She challenged him, waiting to see how he would react to her searching question.

"My guilt is as potent as if it occurred mere minutes ago." He nodded, acknowledging the obvious double meaning in her words. She was anything but subtle.

"I still love him." She allowed her eyes to convey her meaning to Carlisle. He understood. This conversation was as much about their relationship as her missing Edward; she would always love Edward. He knew that, he expected as much.

"I would be disappointed if you didn't." He should have moved then, should have left her alone with her brooding. He didn't; sometimes a compassionate nature gets you into situations that could otherwise be avoidable.

"Why are you here Carlisle?" His mouth dropped, he couldn't remember how to speak.

She took advantage of his distraction and moved his face back around to face her; her eyelids dropped half over her eyes, his own eyes were instantly drawn to the curve of her mouth; her lips were moist and scarlet, they lay slightly apart begging his own to join them. Cautiously she allowed her nose to meet his, testing his response; her craned his neck upwards to her nose to enable her better access to his lips. Finally she seized his lips with her own; fire coursed through her veins and she gripped his face with her hands, transferring every ounce of passion she held in her body into the kiss. Noting their surroundings he abruptly pulled away.

"Not here."

She finally seemed to leave her trance and looked around at the familiar room she was in. She lifted the fingers of her left hand up to her swollen lips before taking them between her teeth and placing her head in her palm.

"I'm disgusting; I'm kissing my dead boyfriend's adoptive father in his own room."

"You think I don't feel the same Bella? I hate how much I want you." His demeanour cracked, he was laid bare before her, almost violently he pushed her off his lap and made for the door.

"I'm so sorry Bella."


	23. Passion Play

**A/N: Hi sorry about the delay, I have been having trouble uploading my documents but they are here now. Thank you for all your reviews, I really do appreciate them and do try to reply to any questions or comments put to me. Anyway this chapter is the real turning point in the story and will shape how the rest of it goes. **

Chapter 23

"Carlisle, No. Don't leave me."

He halted outside the room, torn by the tormented sound of the voice behind the door. He felt the door open behind him and a hand slide slowly across his broad shoulders; it traced the line of his spine down to the base of it the movement making the soft material of his shirt caress the skin on his back. Every nerve ending was aflame; he allowed his eyes to close and sensuously inhaled the scent surrounding him.

"Bella." His voice cracked his composure lost for a moment.

He turned around on the spot and lent towards her to grasp her lips; she gripped his collar and allowed herself free reign on the planes of his chest.

"Not here."

He pulled her out of the doorway of Edward's room; it would be blasphemous to carry on in his room. Their eyes still transfixed on the others, he searched her for an answer, for an excuse to stop himself from doing the one thing that he had sworn to himself he would not do. There was nothing there to grapple on to. She was as decided as he was; she needed his comfort; he was the only person who understood what she felt; he felt it too. Grief can do funny things to people; unpredictable things, he had never felt anything for her before, perhaps this was a flawed and disgraceful way for both of them to feel close to Edward; Bella had fallen into the arms of his creator, his creator had fallen into the arms of his lover. Perhaps it could just be that simple.

He allowed himself to spin her around; his arms taking solace on the wall; trapping her inside them. She did not move, didn't even flinch as he did so. She could see the panic in his eyes; the pain that lingered; the pain that had mirrored hers for the past 12 short months. She allowed a hand to travel up his cheek; his jaw became taught under her touch, her hand explored the grooves in his face that were his eyelids, his mouth. He kissed each fingertip in turn as they played over his lips, ceasing on the smallest finger and bringing his own hand to hers; interlocking her fingers with his own. He squeezed her no longer delicate hand with his own and sighed, leading her out of the doorway; away from Edward's room.

This room was new to her, she had never had any reason to be in there before, and it was just how she would have envisaged it; expensive, teak furnishings, classic lines and neutral, calming colours. The floor beneath her was a sprung laminate wood flooring; stained to match the furniture, she looked around the room broodingly; he shared this room with his wife; she allowed her head to turn slightly and took in the sight of a ornate four poster bed, the coverings were a champagne colour; he shared that with his wife too.

She separated from him not quite knowing what etiquette was needed in this situation; he glanced at her his golden eyes and rouged, full lips enticed her towards him. She grazed his lip with a pale, pointed finger; cool Vampire skin was no longer a problem to her since her own change. He moved his head hesitantly, capturing her hand in his own.

"My wife is downstairs."

He dropped her hand at her side, regretting it instantly.

"Then why did you bring me here?"

She dragged her nails across his collarbone, eliciting a small shiver from the usually so composed Vampire before her.

"Because I want you."

He managed to croak, what had she done to him? He had never imagined he could be so depraved, so wanton. As if she had read his thoughts she shied back from him.

"I'm sorry Carlisle, but I want this just as much as you do, I feel just as disgusting for wanting you as you do for wanting me."

He allowed a small smile to break from his face and chuckled.

"How romantic."

She giggled back and closed her arms around his waist burying her head into his hard chest.

"You know what I mean."

"This changes nothing Bella. I still want you."

He grinned half joking with her, trying to lighten the situation just a fraction.

"You'll regret this Carlisle. We both will." She added seriously, weighing up just how the two of them would fare after the inevitable.

"Right now Bella, nothing else matters. Only you." She seized his lips roughly inviting him in with her hands, his own matted into her auburn curls twisting them around his shapely fingers; drinking in her very soul with his delicious kiss. He broke away from the kiss and noticed her eyes scanning the room to the bed in the corner; he smiled at her distraction and gently led her to her coveted destination.


	24. Scream

Chapter 24

His eyes could have burnt holes into the ceiling above him, he lay there in a trance-like state, examining the tiles on the ceiling with an interest that he had never known before. He closed his eyes abruptly trying to stop the plaguing thoughts that infected his mind. He turned to the beauty beside him, her body was half over his; still holding him; still wrapped around him in the lover's embrace that he had instigated only half an hour before. Those blissful moments eternally etched into his memory. Those blissful moments in which comfort and betrayal combined; uniting in a passionate tryst between these two lovers.

"Stop thinking Carlisle."

Bella began to gently touch her fingertips to his chest; hesitantly, her shyness back in bucket loads. He turned his body towards hers causing her fingers to drop from his chest. He searched her silently, she stayed rooted in the same spot; fully invading his personal space; she didn't bother to move when he did. What was the point? She grimaced when his face retained the same pained expression that he had held when he had left her in Edward's room. She had known they would feel this way, but for those moments it had been worth it. For the first time in 12 months she had felt properly loved; she had lost herself in her passion, allowed it to fuel her, for those moments she had forgotten.

Shock almost overtook her when he pressed his mouth to hers again. Then she allowed the touch to register, perhaps this was his goodbye. She clutched his strong arms, not allowing him to move from his place next to her. His eyes were firmly shut; would he ever taste her lips again? Would he ever feel her soft skin on his own? Slowly he allowed his lips to leave hers, his eyes opened to once more be greeted by hers.

"It's ok Bella."

He whispered to her soothingly, moving her hair from her face. He allowed his lips to ghost over her eyelids; she laced her fingers into his long, blonde hair. His lips trailed down her cheek to her jaw inflicting soft bites upon her skin. She softened into his embrace, reciprocating in sensuous kind.

The door creaked. Not disturbing the enraptured couple it shielded. She stood in the doorway; her flawless features conveying the utmost horror at the passionate display before her. Bile rushed up her throat; rage bubbled in her frozen veins. She cleared her throat and waited.


	25. Numb

Chapter 25

"Alice!" Bella squeaked wriggling out from underneath Carlisle, hastily pulling the bedclothes over her person. Carlisle flipped over and abruptly sat up also attempting to salvage some of his modesty with the duvet.

She was livid. Her tiny frame rocked with rage; her eyes were as black as coal and her face was twisted in obvious disgust.

"Get dressed. You stupid, stupid idiot!" She glared at Carlisle as he froze at the sound of her furious voice. He was startled out of his daze by her demand and fumbled around looking for his clothes.

"Are you out of your mind? She was downstairs." Carlisle couldn't look her in the eye; he picked at loose fluff on his cashmere sweater that currently resided in his hands.

"_Was _downstairs, you mean to say she isn't now." The realisation dawned on him, they would all know.

"She went to clear her head before she did something rash. Carlisle I suggest you find your wife and speak to her." He nodded and leaped out of the bed as Bella did the same.

"Alice we're so sorry." Alice ignored Bella's plea and moved abruptly away from her.

"I thought this was over." She squared up to Carlisle, the pain brewing in her onyx eyes. He bowed his head in reply; shame and guilt drawn across his face. Alice moved closer to the two of them and screwed her face in disgust.

"You can't speak to her dressed in those clothes, you reek of_ her_." She waved a hand over to Bella. Carlisle allowed his eyes to flit over to her; her eyes were glued to him. Alice growled at his obvious distraction and made to slap his face with every ounce of her being. He caught her hand as it travelled the distance to his cheek and gripped it in a vice – like grip. She beat at his chest furiously, although her attempts were puerile, anguish seeped from her every pore as Carlisle stood frozen taking his punishment.

"Why!" She didn't cease her punching, her sobs racked her body as Bella attempted to place a hand over her shoulder to shield him from her.

"You disgusting cretin!" Alice snarled, turning around to face her, she growled at her; her rage had become too much for her to contain and she leaped onto her, snapping furiously in her face, Carlisle tried to grasp Alice knowing for certain that Bella would be stronger and less able to control herself if Alice did make any substantial damage. He grasped the two Vampires, pulling them from each abruptly from each other; needing every bit of strength he could evoke to succeed.

Alice grew limp in his arms conveying her surrender to him, Bella was still enraged, showing her relative inexperience in that kind of situation, her body was taught and upright, the sinew of her muscles almost exposed through her pale, white skin. Carlisle turned to her, his yellow, sorrowful eyes trying to snap her out of her state. Alice shrugged out of his relinquishing grip and headed for the door affording them one last glance, Bella's eyes were softening; she was no longer stalking_ Alice_ with her eyes. She closed the door behind her leaving the two of them in a far less compromising embrace than she had met them in.

"Bella" he whispered, daring to run his fingers across her brow. She stopped snarling, he felt her begin to relax in his arms; her hands were no longer claws attaching themselves to his skin. She collapsed into him; he stood rooted to the spot, still soothing her with his soft hands.

"Go to her Carlisle." She closed her eyes, relishing the last time she would touch him; she inhaled his scent, weaving her hands into his golden hair. She leant her face up to his meaning to kiss him when he turned his cheek abruptly. She ran a hand down his cheek, caressing him; he couldn't stop this.

"One last kiss." His face moved back to its original position; despairing at the desperation in her voice. He bent to her allowing her wish, and claimed her mouth with his own. He held her closer to him, tightening his grip around her. Neither of them had known such passion, such desperation. They pulled from each other slowly, communicating every unspoken word with their eyes.

"Go to your wife." He nodded at her, wanting tears to form as she left the room.


	26. The final threshold

**A/N: We are three chapters from the end now, these chapters are what are going to decide the fate of the Cullens after Bella and Carlisle's betrayal.**

Chapter 26

Carlisle pulled on fresh clothes; noting Alice's warning to him. Esme was not going to be forgiving if she could still smell his lover on him. Bella had left him to dress in peace, silently creeping back into her own room; trying to avoid any form of population on the way, at this point explaining to the rest of the family was a mute point; she didn't even want to acknowledge the fact that they already knew.

He sashayed down the staircase, meeting the glares of his children; faces were set in expressions of disgust, each of them to a different degree. Jasper and Alice were both perfectly aware of just what was occurring and quite scarily appeared to be the calmest of the four. Emmett and Rosalie in comparison looked as if they were mentally preparing the fire for him. He stood square in front of them; Rosalie averted her eyes from him in a dramatic motion her blonde hair almost whipping his face in her distaste. Emmett kept his blackened eyes upon him.

"She never deserved this." Emmett grimaced at his father figure spitting the words in disgust.

Carlisle bowed his head and left the house. He followed her trail reluctantly; this was one conversation that he didn't want to have, her scent became difficult to follow, she had obviously tried to cover it in an attempt to throw him off and give herself more time to think. Well that's what he hoped she had done. He finally found her in a place which was familiar to all of them; Edward's meadow, realistically this was the place he should have tried first, it was only reasonable that she would turn to the place in which the spirit of the only other person who would have known how she felt would be at their most prominent.

The yellow, stained grass moved crunched under his feet as he approached her, she was stood, unmoving in the middle of the meadow, the wind lapped at her chestnut coloured hair blowing it in alternating directions. Her arms were straight by her side, her fists clenched on the end of them. As he grew nearer he was aware of the notion that she would not turn to acknowledge his presence, instead he allowed this and stood immediately behind her, not having to look into her eyes.

"Esme." He pleaded with her, brushing a hand across her back, she shivered, flinching at his touch. He withdrew his hand abruptly not wanting to cause her any more discomfort than he had already.

"Do you love her?" She kept her back to him, her voice cracking with the sentiments, not really knowing if she wanted to hear the answer to her question.

"Not the way I love you." He softened his voice, trying to reason with her. She was his wife, he had loved her for 80 years, and he couldn't throw this away on a whim.

"So you do love her then." Esme cleared her throat and turned to face him, challenging him with her stare. His breath hitched in his throat as she turned, his voice cracked nervously.

"I don't know. I empathise with her, she reciprocated my empathy." He shook his head at her, pleading desperately. He couldn't destroy his family.

"Empathy? And I didn't empathise with you Carlisle?" She questioned, watching him visibly shake.

"That was not what I meant. We had both lost Edward."

"And everyone else hadn't? I know it was hard for you, he was your first companion but it doesn't give you the right to sleep with whoever you see fit."

"That is not the way of it." Carlisle strengthened his sentiments.

"It certainly sounded like it." She glared at him, eyeing his change of clothes.

"In our home. In our bed!" He dropped his eyes in shame.

"I'm eternally sorry, I feel rotten."

"So you should." Esme was beginning to shriek; her sobs echoed around the meadow, her screams rebounded in his ears.

"What do you decide Esme?" He looked at her, his words halting her emotion. He would succumb to whatever she wanted; he could not deny her after his despicable behaviour. In his mind he had taken advantage of an emotional young woman; cheated on his wife and threatened the very bindings of his coven.

"I don't know."

An incoming scent startled them, Carlisle whipping his head around to be met with the sight of Alice and Bella hurtling towards them. Esme growled deep in her throat, instinctively Carlisle and Alice moved their bodies in between the two women.

"Esme." Alice turned to her, sympathy rife in her gaze. She flashed a smile, and caressed her arm gently.

Carlisle turned to his young lover, she looked distraught, he fought with the urge to hold her to him, she hadn't been to the meadow since her days with Edward.

"How could you both do this to HIM?" Esme, noted Bella searching her surroundings, almost felt her conjuring up the memories that she had shared with Edward during their moments in this very place.

"It just, happened." The words dripped carelessly off Bella's tongue. She alternated her gaze between Esme, Alice and Carlisle. Knowing that each one of them would have a different opinion of her statement. Esme laughed darkly, and moved away from the group.

"Esme. Please." Carlisle was behind her again. His voice pleading without abandon.

"It's you he loves Esme." Bella sobbed, meeting Carlisle behind Esme, watching his reaction to her words. He didn't move, he shown no notion that what she had said was untrue. Bella had broken, no matter what had happened between them how could she expect him to leave his wife, his family for her? She had been a way of dealing with his grief, as he had been for her?

Her mind was made up.

"I'm leaving; you can live your lives in peace. Without me."


	27. Chase

Chapter 27

"Pardon?"

Carlisle's head snapped around to Bella taking in her last words. The rest of him was rooted to the spot. Esme had also turned to look at her in shock, Alice stood calm as ever; trying her utmost to search the future for a desirable outcome.

"It's not necessary Bella." Esme managed to croak, to Bella's surprise Esme was disheartened by her words.

"Why couldn't you have just been honest?" She turned to her husband shaking her head.

"I've made my decision, I've caused enough problems, I'm leaving." She turned to Alice, her eyes were back to the colour they usually were; honey. Why were they not jumping at the chance of her leaving? This could be resolved; the Cullen's could go back to their old life and forget about her.

"You are my responsibility. I can't allow you to roam this world alone." She immediately noticed the double meaning in his words. How could he be thinking this? He could not leave his children for her. Nor was she sure that he intended to.

"Carlisle?" Esme turned to her husband painfully.

"Yes" he breathed.

"Make your choice."

He was astounded; he stepped back from the women surrounding him. He could not leave his coven; he had a duty as a father.

"I want her to remain in our care Carlisle, but the choice remains, if you no longer love me then go to her. I will not stand in your way. Although if you do love me and you subsequently choose me, then I have to be safe in the knowledge that you will not keep anything like this from me again. That you will be honest with me. Your wife."

He was dumbstruck; Alice remained off to the side, still massaging her temples with a vigour that would have seemed over the top in any other circumstance.

"There is no choice to make Carlisle. She is your wife. We both know _we were never in love!_ Go to her, forget all of this."

A part of him seemed to wither and die at her last statement, how could she think that he felt nothing for her? He would never have risked his marriage for a woman that he didn't love in some way. Bella walked from the group slowly, time to think would be a blessing.

"Stop her Carlisle. She is still a relative new born. She is still a part of Edward." Esme pushed her husband onto the trail that Bella had begun to walk.

"Just go, bring her home. I will explain to everybody else."

"You are an angel Esme." He turned to her expecting to feel his lips on her forehead; instead he was met with a hand pushing his face into the direction she had formerly enticed him to.

"Don't be disheartened Carlisle. I just need time." They smiled empathetically to each to each other as he turned to the trail.


	28. Unspoken Secrets

**AN: This is the final chapter now. Thank you everyone for all of your support, this chapter is going to be very bittersweet and is rather open to interpretation especially at the end. I hope you enjoy it and I shall be posting some more stories very soon. Thank you all! **

Chapter 28

She had managed to find solace further into the thick forest; her head was spinning with plans, where would she go? What would she do? She could hardly go somewhere which was full of people, just in case. She sat down on a winding tree root which protruded from the ground below her.

What had she done? She was going to lose everything that she had taken for granted just for one stupid mistake, a stupid mistake that should never have happened. She would miss his soft kisses, his inviting scent; but it was not worth the agony of having to see him every day until Armageddon and not being able to have him. Avoiding the temptation was the only way this could work. If he truly wanted her then he would hunt her down; she had every confidence that he could, and every confidence that he would not.

"Bella."

A strong voice in the distance closed in upon her. She knew who it was without even looking up. Her mind was made up. He must have known how she felt, and if he didn't then now was not the time for bittersweet goodbyes. He had to leave her; she had to go otherwise this really would have been for nothing.

"Go away."

"Don't leave Bella." He sat himself next to her on the root; she shifted away from him almost turning her back on him.

"Go back to your wife Carlisle."

"I can't do this without you." He pleaded with her, trying to gain her attention.

"You've coped for 300 years."

"300 years ago I had never met you."

"You'll get over it." She dismissed him, waving her hand at him.

"You don't understand Bella. I love you. I want you, come away with me." He turned her face to him, smoothing her cheek with his palm. She gripped his fingers ferociously, squeezing them with her hand. Brutally she kissed him, her other hand tugged at his hair, she scratched at his cheek and abruptly stopped. Her eyes still on his, intently watching his face, seeing a small glimmer of hope flicker across it.

"I won't have you." She dropped his hand back into his lap and stood up. His head bowed, his fingers ran harshly through his hair assaulting his scalp.

"I'm not a coward Bella. I would tell them." She shook her head at him.

"You assume too much Carlisle. I. Don't. Want. You." She spelt it out for him, scolding him like a small child.

His mouth gaped open, he wished he could cry; wished he could drown himself in a river of his own salty tears.

"Then I am here under a misapprehension. I take my leave of you. Goodbye Bella." He inhaled once, puffing out his chest majestically and approached her; she turned her cheek and allowed him to place a soft kiss upon it and watched him walk away. He didn't look back.

Footsteps drew nearer, she knew who it was, knew who had seen what she had just done. She had broken him.

"That was cruel." Alice bore daggers into her.

"It was the only way, if he thought that I loved him, he would never be able to go back to his normal existence. He knew I wouldn't come back. He would never expect me to watch him play happy families while we pined for each other."

"So Esme is second best?"

"He loves her Alice; he loves her more than he will ever love me. He just thinks he loves me."

Alice shook her head firmly, not quite believing everything that had occurred today.

"Where will you go?"

"England." Alice nodded, and smiled to herself.

"You find yourself in his birth place." Bella bowed her head to Alice and grimaced.

"Will he follow?"

"Nothing is certain Bella. But please, stay safe, for both of their sakes." Bella smiled sadly at Alice and leaped into her friend's arms.

"All I know is that no matter what happens, you will always be my sister."


End file.
